Here I am today to talk about something that has been disturbing me for some months now and I don’t know where or whom to turn to, yes as the tittle says I am talking about auditory hallucination but I will explain exactly what I’m talking about because mine are not normal at all.
First of all I want to say that as far as I know I have no mental illness, I’m not on drugs or taking any medication at all that may explain this situation and my hallucinations only happen when I’m asleep or trying to.
For you to understand a bit better where I stand, I’ll explain in short my situation for those who do not know me. I have fibromyalgia and I suffer from severe anxiety, panic attacks caused by my noise sensitivity and major stress, as some of you may know fibromyalgia affects us in so many ways, gives us pain 24/7, affects our memory, our muscles, our energy, sleepy and so on..
If you wish to know more about my illness please read my previous posts on the subject.
One of my greatest and worst problem is my noise sensitivity, and is aggravated by my surroundings, this is to say, I am surrounded by extreme noise every day; I live in a flat and in area full of buildings with a lot of noisy people and dogs!! Loads of dogs are left alone in the balconies of the flats or abandoned in last floor terraces. This wasn’t like this when I bought my flat, it was actually a quiet area, no dogs and the neighbourhood was respectful and nice but years passed by, flats were sold new people moved in and brought dogs, dozens of them… I don’t know if any of you have a situation similar but dogs here where I live they bark all day and all night as if they were in a kennel, it’s unbearable.
I was not always sensitive to noise at least not to normal noise, it all started when the first dog appeared in my building! At the beginning he didn’t make noise but something changed and one day he started barking for hours without stopping; at first it didn’t bother me much, I started using earphones when I was at the computer however time went by and the dog kept barking whole afternoon and day non stop driving me insane. My depression aggravated due to this and I saw myself unable to think or write anything at all on my blogs, I started having panic attacks because I couldn’t listen anymore this dog inside my building plus the other ones from other buildings around mine.
Years passed by, police was called often because of the dog’s noise then… another neighbour of mine got two poodles!! For heavens sake what’s wrong with people? one dog barking isn’t enough? let’s get two more to add more noise… yes the two poodles also barked all day long!!There was nor is there any room in my flat where I can hide from the noise of my neighbours and their dogs.
I installed double glazed windows in my flat so that I would stop hearing the noisy dogs from outside and people talking out loud in their terraces and traffic as well. For you guys to visualize better the situation let me explain that I have normal windows inside, rolling shutters then on the outside the double gazed window which makes three layers of material to prevent noise still it’s not enough. After spending so much money on this I could finally find some peace, when I have all the windows shut I don’t hear people talking outside but the dogs I can still hear… they don’t stop barking and most of them are at the same height as I am. One problem was half solved yet another one appeared, new neighbours moved in and these new ones are quite noisy that’s why me and my husband can’t sleep without earplugs for the past 6 years! Some days I also have to use earplugs during the day so much is the noise inside my building.
I live 24/7 in pain due to my illness, can’t afford paying for treatment, we are both unemployed so we can’t sell our flat and move elsewhere, there’s no use to talk with my neighbours and politely ask them to reduce the noise especially after 11 p.m so that we can sleep, there’s nothing we can do or say to shut up the dogs inside my building. Due to all these reasons and a few more I find myself always in extreme stress and I feel a prisoner in my own house since I have no right to have one single hour of silence night or day.
Well, last year I realized that I was having auditory hallucinations! Some nights when I was trying to fall asleep I started hearing the dogs barking but I was wearing my earplugs… I used to tell myself that it was impossible to be hearing baby dogs weeping! I couldn’t sleep with the noise so I removed my earplugs but kept hearing this dog; I asked my husband if there was any dog barking or making any noise at all and he always replied no!
As you can imagine I started to panic because I kept hearing the dogs… so many nights I opened my side table drawer and took a wristwatch and put it next to my ear so that the tic toc sound could cancel the dog sound.. nothing worked and I was driving insane..
Time passed on and my hallucinations increased, now I wake up several times during the night because I hear dogs barking as if they were next to me, or I just wake up during the night – this happens often, I suffer from insomnia- and I start listening to dogs barking or a child crying or my upstairs neighbour talking out loud. I always remove my earplugs so that I am sure that the noise is only in my head or ear I don’t know… My husband hears nothing so it’s my problem then.
The question here is, I don’t hear voices or people talking to me and this never happens during the day, I only have hallucinations of the noises I keep hearing every day, all day long which are the same over and over, day by day, the same dogs barking, the same child screaming when they are at home, the same neighbours yelling when talking with other people…
Well I think this might be due to stress that I am subject every day and it reflects at night. As a fibromyalgia sufferer is it known that our brain never turns off like normal people, some nights I can’t fall asleep so many are my thoughts in my head, it’s like a rollercoaster. In order to be able to fall asleep I have to take valerian before going to bed but that’s all, it helps me to fall asleep most of the nights but after one hour after falling asleep I wake up…
I already know that this auditory hallucination has nothing to do with fibromyalgia but I would like very much to know if there’s anyone out there suffering of the same problem or anyone qualified that knows what this might be, do please leave a comment, if you need more details just ask me and I will tell you.
I am in need of help as for this matter and … for those who might be thinking about it… yes the better would be to visit a doctor but I don’t have money to pay a doctor whatsoever.