Hello guys, I have been away from everything and everywhere actually, going through a very deep dark time, I think that I always manage to keep my chin up and my anxiety and depression controlled but who am I kidding???
The other day, out of nowhere, I started a fight with my husband, who has been there for me since ever. I guess that the fact I’m not getting any treatment for depressions, anxiety and Fibromyalgia is affecting me more than I wish to admit. I feel that I’m getting paranoid, feeling all the time that my husband is hiding his true feelings towards me, what he real thinks about my illness…
I wanted so bad that he talked to me that when he refused to do that I tried to cut my wrists! I am desperate with all this situation of unemployment, lack of money that prevents me from getting medical help. All my situation where I live, the constant noise from neighbours and dogs,not being able to sleep properly, the pains that don’t go away and the lack of friends, altogether this is a snow ball.
I used to express myself by writing dark poetry but now I can’t write, can’t explain why but I have this inability to express what my deep feelings are, I feel nothingness,a deep hollow in my soul. Today, due to some situation I wish not to discuss here, I watched this video and I thought that the people in it explain very well how I feel like 365.