Tags

,

Some days I wake up and I say that today is a different day, that I will be doing hundreds of things I’ve been postponing for quite some time. My will is real as well is my wish but between having breakfast and my shower my strength slows down and I realise that it’s not going to be that easy!

My frustration rises during the day when fatigue and pains take the best of me… I have a word to portrait my mood “zombie” yes this is how I feel, a zombie! When Fibromyalgia strikes nothing remains. I used to fight back yet the struggle was immense and the results not that good. For once in my life I wish I could have a normal day like a happy person, this includes not having excruciating pains all over my body, no migraines, no anxiety, no stress, no fear, no panic, no mood changes, no grumpiness, no fatigue…. For once I wish I could smile without faking, I wish I   could hope for better days, for once I wish I could be happy by making the one I love the most happy. He says I’m not a burden yet my illness drags me down to this dark dungeon where I live, a place without hope or faith, a world or suffering and ssorrow. But I am a burden myself if I cannot make him happy, if I cannot help him…

Iwish that for once some of my friends could walk on my shoes to understand what I’ve become and why! This is not who I am, this is who my illness is… Another entity, two people in one!I wish I was stronger but I’m fading away and for that I am truly sorry.

Advertisements